i = ? + (0 * 1 (h * m)) 0

I've been awake, to see the modern eyes of love's first eschew. This emotion of joy I could not fathom. I'm not familiar with this kind of joy, so I deny myself of it. I'm scared of it and to see any form of it, I push it away. I'm overflowing with a love that can easily be mistaken. I found myself loving easily. In my mind, these kinds of loves and joys do not seem right.

But my heart is steady. I am in toil of accepting grace, I feel that God's given my heart space to love so I can love as He commanded. The sound of my voice and the times when I find myself singing praises to my God hold such deep meaning to my heart. Even with this knowledge, I battle against my heart. I know it's been wrong before.

My mind could destroy my heart, along with it the loves and joys I feel. I've wanted to feel these ways for a long time. My prayers have been answered; now my life has become a contradiction.

Spending hours and days in observance, to be discerning on all accounts, being objective on every aspect of how my heart acts and reacts to many things.

I've logically deduced that either I'm wrong to everything, wrong to my heart, or wrong to mind. Rejecting these joys and loves may be denying God the satisfaction of giving me grace.

I am logically equivalent to uncertainty of null(being wrong or right) multiplied by the factor of my heart and mind.

i = ? + (0 * 1 (h * m))

Love is most verbose, transcends speech and sound. I will let God's grace abound and continue to keep watch over my heart.

Lord, help me to use this love according to your will.