Sunday, February 27, 2011

Glory, Humility 0

Glory to God,
His hand on my head.
I am blessed beyond my wisdom-
my folly He'd shown when I said "this is His, this is mine,"
Such a fool am I.

I am a fool,
Mercy, grace come upon me...
this is home,
this is humility.

I am yours God,
I come to you, in my desire to praise you...
you are my desire.
Glory to you.

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Saturday, January 09, 2010

'ɪləstr'eɪʃən 0

1 The silence of the empty room,
I gaze upon the dark abyss.
A breath lingers from my mouth,
the cold condenced vapors.

2 Her eyes... an amber ocean,
the milky white contrast around this honest gaze.
I am vulnerable to them,
she has kissed me with those eyes.

Topics:

  1. Silence
  2. Her Eyes

Give Love 0

I was pointed to 2nd Corinthians Chapter 8 recently. It talks about giving. Giving out of love, and having sincere love the outpouring of which is to give. Paul doesn't lay this as a command, but as an example of Christ.

I realize that I've given my life away, and my love away freely. To God, my family, friends, and strangers. I've given much, and I've been blessed much in my lifetime. I imagine how finite my love really is and I imagine how easy it is for my love to falter. In this I can only imagine of my love being wasted. I give from my heart, my time and my mind. There are times when I am thoroughly exhausted and I find myself cold.

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Friday, May 22, 2009

One and Half of a Day 0

I've been contemplating the necessity of adventure in one's life. How we're able to comprehend better what is going on in our life by being "outside" of it. The other day, I woke up, carried my bag into my car and drove off to work just like any other day. That day, I worked, like any other day. The beautiful glance outside the window made me realize more there's beauty to behold outside a room. I remember a pleasant glow in between the window blind which illuminated the room just dimly. I took a step outside to go to the bathroom, I took another trip outside for lunch, and took another step outside to depart to a friends house, to depart for adventure.

I got to Jared's house, expecting a long road ahead. He drove as the sun was setting. In a somewhat romantic sense, through both Los Angeles and Orange County's thick dampening smog. The smog that sucks such breaths that should mean so much more and the smog that blinds a longing to move forward. When we passed those county lines and saw the hillsides that would lead us north, where I imagined the clean air would be. Where the temperature was cool, and a breeze would cause me to breathe deeply and maybe fall into the wind. The sun had set and we were away. As I did with a couple of friends a month before... we escaped from Orange County. It was evening, we listened to music, we talked a few, we arrived in San Luis Obispo and stayed at a friend's house.

The following morning, arising from the couch sober and excited, we took to the road. We planned the day, we had breakfast with a friend in Paso Robles. We caught some fleas, then we headed to Berkeley. We arrived at Berkeley. I thought to myself about such an interesting place, with the hustle and bustle that was reminiscent of Los Angeles, crowded streets, and some senile men screaming "free will" and profanity. We were in Berkeley to meet with a friend who offered her place. After lunch, we parted ways and headed for San Francisco; the whole reason for this adventure, but not what continues to guide it. We arrived in "SF" around 6:00pm to see a band named "Kings of Leon." After their great performance, we headed to Oakland, arrived at Lokate's place; conversed in the evening, prepared where we were to sleep then took into a state of rest.

We woke up today, with an idea of home in mind, an idea of business, and just the state of life we are in. We're here in San Luis Obispo again, we've taken in such beautiful sights and such blissful reminders of existence along highway one, along the coast. This is the brief summary of my three days so far.

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Thursday, May 07, 2009

Extrapolate 0

I’m tired of the unnecessary attachments of living. Having things. I’m tired of knowing I somehow depend on these things for satisfaction. I know my heart isn’t reliant upon these things, these days, it’s more and more difficult to discern whether or not I am defined by these things.

I imagine a self portrait of myself, in the variation of hues I can vividly remember; I’d use these things to identify who I am: a paintbrush, a pencil, a notebook, a bicycle, a computer, a collection of CDs scattered across the floor, books, a camera… I have many things associated with me, yet there is this detachment from them. I reek of the silent indulgence of satisfaction. I have no concern of things over their necessity in my living, but I indulge in them as tools I’ve used in my life.

There’s this large part of my mind that renders me as who I am. It may be a mere delusional self perception. I was naked in this portrait, there were no things laid around me, and yet there was a smile on that face and the left hand over where the heart should be. I don’t know yet if this is where I am, the case right now is that I am not, I just know that is where I want to be.

I am finite. My days have an end over this plane of existence. In this time, I want to know of sadness and despair; I want to know of pain and suffering in my life; I want to know of loneliness and the consequences of being one; I want to know of death and hell; I want to know of the difficulty and torment of living, the emotional heartbreak, frustration and anger. I scream these things out because I’ve been blessed with these things.

Then I raise my voice even more to shout for life; in these finite moments, I’ve come to know of joy, and intentional joy. I have come to know of love and the many forms of it and the misappropriation of them; I have come to know that I am blessed to never be alone and that the relationships I have with my brethren are building; I have come to know of life and what it is to live in truth and light; the mere glimpses I have of my past through the memories I remember, I’ve come to know many things and reason who I am now ultimately by the choice to place God before myself.

Right now, I’m just tired in being who I am.

{Coldness became apparent when I came to know heat.}

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